Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is back in the action thriller Crank: High Voltage (2009). Also known as Crank 2: High Voltage, this Crank (2006) sequel has the hunky hitman battling the Chinese mafia including Don Kim (Keone Young), Johnny Vang (Art Hsu), Poon Dong (David Carradine), and Ria (Bai Ling). Under the direction of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the R rated flick also features Dwight Yoakam as “Doc” Miles, Efren Ramirez as Venus, Geri Halliwell as Karen Chelios, and Corey Haim as Randy. We bet he is! As for the plot, Chez has lost his heart — literally! Yes, he wakes up to find his nearly indestructible organ has been replaced by some cut-rate artificial number that will run out of juice if not periodically jump started with a volt of electricity. As such, Chev must locate the cooler that contains his heart before it’s too late, or until there’s a blackout, whichever comes first. Fortunately, Mr. Statham ups the nudity ante in this installment. Thanks to a skinsationally over the top sex scene, he and his lady love Eve Lydon (Amy Smart) again decide that public fornication is the best medicine to elevate a heart rate. In other words, they get down and dirty in the mud in the middle of a packed racetrack. As the two wallow like horny hogs in slop, we get to view Jason’s well-developed duff! The only complaint is that Little Jason is pixilated. Consequently, we can’t get our heart rates (among other things) up!