Terror Tract (2000)

Terror Tract (2000) is a three-part anthology that follows Bob Carter (John Ritter), a real estate salesman trying to sell a home to newlywed couple, Allen and Mary Ann Doyle (David Deluise and Allison Smith). Won’t you believe it’s just the Doyle’s luck that all three homes they look at have been sites of grisly and violent murders, and the crazy real estate salesman spares no detail when he recounts the blood-filled details of each murder. Doesn't this dude want to sell the houses? The first story, "Nightmare" follows Louis Freemont (Frederic Lehne) a spurned husband as he dies at the hands of his adulterous wife Sarah (Rachel York) and her lover Frank (Carmine Giovinazzo), eventually stalking them from the grave. But how's the closet space? What school district is it in? In the middle segment, "Bobo" Bobo, a murderous monkey in an adorable little bellhop outfit, stalks a family (Jodi Harris, Bryan Cranston and Katekin Petersen). Eventually they take it in as a pet, and it starts making their lives a living Hell.  And the last story, "Come to Granny" follows the guilt-ridden Sean (Will Estes) as visits a psychologist (Brenda Strong), because he thinks he might be the ‘Granny Killer”, a devious dude that murders people while sporting a grandma mask. Do they end up buying any of the houses? Of course not. But the end of the frame story is a wild, blood filled one! The film is heavy on the suspense and murder, but light on the skin. Both Bryan Cranston and Will Estes contribute some shirtless flesh while they each do some grooming in the bathroom, though. These dudes are hygienically hot! Horror's cool, but since we have a one tract mind, we were pretty let down that there was no nudity! Sorry Bobo, but we're gonna have to spank the monkey to a shirtless Bryan Cranston in Terror Tract!