Goldilocks and the Two Bears (2024)

Goldilocks and the Two Bears is a bonkers under-the-radar 2024 movie that toes the line between provocative and camp. It's about a college student who discovers squaters when she moves into her grandmother's condo in Las Vegas. No, these squatters are not two gay bears, as the title of the flick teasingly suggests. Instead it's a weird straight couple with an off sexual energy. Our college girl Ivy is into what this couple is dishing out, so instead of ratting them out to her grandmother she gets involved with them. How far do things go? For starters, Ivy catches the male squatter Ian (Bryan Mittelstadt) peeing while fully naked! As the characters share their lives - and bodies! - with one another, they delve into philosophy and name drop some of the world's greatest thinkers through lengthy sometimes ten-minute monologues. This movie is about a lot of things, but most importantly, it's about Bryan Mittelstadt's dick!