The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)

The mopey chick and the sparkly vampire finally get around to getting it on in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011), the fourth installment of the LDS inspired Stephenie Meyer tween novels. Bella (Kristen Stewart) is ready to become a vampire so she can spend eternity with her undead lover, Edward (Robert Pattinson), but first they need to tie the knot in a glorious old-fashioned wedding. With the vows exchanged, they head off to paradise on Isle Esme to consummate their love, despite the third wheel wolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner) being very concerned that she'll die during sex. She doesn't, but sure enough a couple of weeks later, Bella wakes up inexplicably nine months pregnant with a half mortal and half immortal child. That can’t be healthy on her body! Bella ignores her hubby’s warnings about the bundle of joy possibly bringing her death with its birth and the soon-to-be mother is adamant seeing her pregnancy come to gestation. Alpha wolfpacker Jacob sees Bella’s baby as a threat, so he leads his fellow furry friends on an all-out mission to kill the bundle of joy. How grim! Instead, he makes eye contact with her and imprints himself on her, which is a super weird way of making sure none of his were-buddies can hurt her, and he can bang her when she comes of age. Bella will ultimately survive, but the Volturi's end up on the hunt for Bella and her baby. But that'll be taken care of in the sequel. Team Jacob or Team Edward? Mr. Man would like to get double teamed by both of them after seeing both of their shirtless bodies. We get a bundle of joy when both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner lose their shirts to show off their fantastic physique. Robert gives his girl a piggyback ride on the beach, and Taylor runs shirtless through the rain. Mr. Man would sure like to break some beds with those supernatural sex machines after watching Breaking Dawn!